"Stop Treating Men Like Babies"

[Keith Maitland]

Yesterday I saw this letter in a newspaper.

I could not believe last week’s article in You magazine in which two sisters shared their tips on how to boost men’s self-esteem:

(‘Tell him well done, even if it’s for the smallest gesture, and tell him when he looks good’).

When is this dreadful emasculation of men going to end? Stop treating men like 3 year olds! No wonder the divorce figures are so high!

[Humph Warden Bennett]

TBH this strikes me as being nothing more than "girls talk", I cannot get too worked up about it.

[Robbie]

That's how I feel.

[jeremyp]

That's how I feel.

I think it's extraordinarily patronising. However, it's just a fluff piece in a lifestyle magazine and, therefore, completely inconsequential.

[floo]

I always tell my husband how it is, even if it is something he doesn't want to hear. I think it is especially important to treat him no differently now he is brain damaged, than I would have done before his brain haemorrhage.

[Humph Warden Bennett]

I always tell my husband how it is, even if it is something he doesn't want to hear. I think it is especially important to treat him no differently now he is brain damaged, than I would have done before his brain haemorrhage.

Mrs Bennett always tells me how it is.

No further comment.

[Rhiannon]

I think it's extraordinarily patronising. However, it's just a fluff piece in a lifestyle magazine and, therefore, completely inconsequential.

It's actually just another version of the Surrendered Wife thing. It's the women that are being controlled and infantilised, by other women. Next they will be suggesting wearing a pretty ribbon.

[jeremyp]

It's actually just another version of the Surrendered Wife thing. It's the women that are being controlled and infantilised, by other women. Next they will be suggesting wearing a pretty ribbon.

So it fails on every level. Following the advice is patronising to men and suggesting that women need to follow the advice is controlling and infantilising for women as well as insulting to everybody.

[floo]

I would hate it if my husband treated me like the little woman. Give him his due he has always told me like it is as I do with him. He treated our daughters just as he would treat lads, not like little princesses. Admittedly the youngest would scream, 'Childline', as he never knew his own strength when arm wrestling!  

[Rhiannon]

So it fails on every level. Following the advice is patronising to men and suggesting that women need to follow the advice is controlling and infantilising for women as well as insulting to everybody.

I actually find it worse than that. Nobody would give this advice to someone wanting to be a helpful friend. It fractures equal relationships between men and women and fosters that old, toxic idea that you have friends and you have a partner/spouse but your partner/spouse isn't your friend. In a way out reminds me of Davina McCall's sage advice that if you don't have a flat stomach and wear matching lingerie every day 'your man will stray'. Not entirely surprising that her marriage is now over.

[Walter]

I actually find it worse than that. Nobody would give this advice to someone wanting to be a helpful friend. It fractures equal relationships between men and women and fosters that old, toxic idea that you have friends and you have a partner/spouse but your partner/spouse isn't your friend. In a way out reminds me of Davina McCall's sage advice that if you don't have a flat stomach and wear matching lingerie every day 'your man will stray'. Not entirely surprising that her marriage is now over.

please tell her I'm available 

[floo]

I actually find it worse than that. Nobody would give this advice to someone wanting to be a helpful friend. It fractures equal relationships between men and women and fosters that old, toxic idea that you have friends and you have a partner/spouse but your partner/spouse isn't your friend. In a way out reminds me of Davina McCall's sage advice that if you don't have a flat stomach and wear matching lingerie every day 'your man will stray'. Not entirely surprising that her marriage is now over.

I have always dressed to please myself, not my husband. We have been married for 48 years.

[Robbie]

I've heard men (not 'my' men) say that women don't dress to please men, they dress to please themselves. Dunno how true that is as not done a survey.

I dress to please myself too, floo. I have to be comfortable at work and home but I think I look OK. If I'm going somewhere posh I like to dress up and am glad if I'm complimented, also compliment my old man (who always looks great).

Women often tell their boyfriends, husbands - even fathers - how to dress!  "I'm not going out with you looking like that", is a phrase I've heard.

I was surprised at Davina McCall's comment, wouldn't have expected that from her. I read a marvellous article by her about her relationship with her late sister. It touched me so much, I've liked her ever since & wonder if she was asked an odd question and just said, "Yes"? Doubt her marriage broke up because or in spite of her flat stomach and underwear, marriages break up for all sorts of reasons. They may have just found themselves pulling in different directions and grown apart (I hear a lot of that).

[Rhiannon]

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/celebritynews/11640553/Davina-McCall-You-must-keep-your-husband-satisfied-in-the-bedroom.html

She probably knew what she was talking about to be fair, given that he was someone else's husband when she met him.

[wigginhall]

"Matthew has strong views on underwear."  That's funny, I have strong views on beech hedges.     

[Owlswing]

Mrs Bennett always tells me how it is.

No further comment.

 . . . until Mrs H W B tells me exactly what my opinion is?

Posted with tongue firmly planted in cheek based upon the fact that I am twice divorced.

[floo]

I've heard men (not 'my' men) say that women don't dress to please men, they dress to please themselves. Dunno how true that is as not done a survey.

I dress to please myself too, floo. I have to be comfortable at work and home but I think I look OK. If I'm going somewhere posh I like to dress up and am glad if I'm complimented, also compliment my old man (who always looks great).

Women often tell their boyfriends, husbands - even fathers - how to dress!  "I'm not going out with you looking like that", is a phrase I've heard.

I was surprised at Davina McCall's comment, wouldn't have expected that from her. I read a marvellous article by her about her relationship with her late sister. It touched me so much, I've liked her ever since & wonder if she was asked an odd question and just said, "Yes"? Doubt her marriage broke up because or in spite of her flat stomach and underwear, marriages break up for all sorts of reasons. They may have just found themselves pulling in different directions and grown apart (I hear a lot of that).

Since his brain haemorrhage my husband asks for my advice on what he should wear when he needs to look smart. He is attending an event tomorrow with our youngest daughter, and will expect me to put out his clothes for him.

[Harrowby Hall]

I became friendly with a woman who was my age and also, like me, widowed.

I enjoyed her company but as our relationship progressed she became more and more demanding about my appearance. She found the fact that I prefer to dress for comfort rather than effect very difficult to understand. When I told her that her idea of "smartness" was a former sign of servility and that I had no-one to please by my appearance, she replied "You are not going out, looking like that, with ME".

We survived, together for about three years, but when she finally gave me my marching orders I was rather relieved.

[Robbie]

  HH


Rhi I didn't know he (Matthew Robertson) was with first wife when he got with Davina McCall. Didn't know anything about him!

I think you're right about her knowing what she was talking about because I googled and found this:

https://www.express.co.uk/celebrity-news/372933/Davina-McCall-I-need-to-work-at-keeping-hold-of-my-gorgeous-husband

I'd never heard of him! Imagine her career is hotter than his.

Well at least the pressure is off her now and she can be herself though it's sad they've split up after so many years. Still it happens and people move onwards and upwards.

[Rhiannon]

If her marriage was anything like she described it must have been torment. Good on her for getting out.

[Dicky Underpants]

"Matthew has strong views on underwear."  That's funny, I have strong views on beech hedges.   

Is he a Mormon?

[Rhiannon]

Is he a Mormon?