It's not so simple. If you belong to one stripe of Christianity you can't just shop around for another when you feel like it. It's akin to looking for a different family of the one you have happens to read the Daily Mail and vote for Brexit. There are groups of gay Christians - even Evangelicals such as Farron - but joining them may mean the disapproval of their own church and their family.
Christianity, IME, is all about giving away your personal power - to priest, pastor, church elders - if you are raised that way it is very difficult to kick against it and maintain belief, especially as a teenager.
I agree it is difficult to think with clarity. I don't know how the mechanism works that leads some people to accept one outlook and other people accept a different outlook. But if you know you will feel happier kicking against it, I wonder what people get out of not adapting their belief - presumably people adopted the belief in the first place in order to feel happier? They are not being accepted anyway for who they are so what's the pull to stay with that particular interpretation?
Growing up as a girl, I felt pressure to conform to certain narratives and expectations but they made me feel bad about myself if I felt I did not measure up and it was not an emotion I liked feeling. For example, I know I am going to grow old and wrinkly (unless I die young) and the belief that wrinkles and grey hair on women is less attractive will make me feel bad, and given the inevitability of the aging process, I decided it was better for my happiness to believe that wrinkles and grey hair is not less attractive. That other people believe something different about beauty is a freedom they have - obviously I would prefer it if they believed the same thing I believed - but it makes no sense to me to make myself unhappy by sharing their belief when I could make myself happy by believing something different.
Same with make-up - I figure if you wear make-up all the time, people are used to seeing you with make-up therefore when you don't wear make-up they think you look bad, plus your skin is probably spotty from all the make-up you have been wearing. So it makes sense to manage people's expectations by rarely wearing make-up so they think you look great when you do wear it, plus not wearing it most of the time is better for your skin, and better for your bank account as you barely spend anything on make-up. My daughters seem to have adopted this view as well - they can see the sense of it and they feel happier because they hear all the comments that their friends make about other people who usually wear make-up and then come into school sometimes without it. I don't know how their brains made this decision to go with my view over the view of others.
