I find this whole ‘belief in’ thing really weird. I can’t believe in something unless I experience it as real, even if I want to. So in ‘exploring possibilities’ I can only explore things I can experience. Theists who say ‘we don’t know what god is’ nevertheless tend to have some abstract ideas about what god is, or at least does, such as god loves, god creates, god saves.
As a borderline atheist I don’t experience a personal god, therefore I can’t believe in one.