Aristotle
Was dumped by his girlfriend, but didn't turn to the bottle:
Instead, being a philosopher,
He reconciled himself to the loss of her.
John Stuart Mill
Invented a happiness pill.
He explained "It ensures the greatest number's greatest happiness
Even in circumstances of extreme crappiness".
Bertrand Russell
Imagined a celestial teapot, saying "Thus'll
I explain my attitude to religious belief
Though I'm sure the fundies will continue to give me grief."
William of Occam
Thought unnecessary hypotheses a nuisance, and tried to block 'em.
He used his razor on them, in-
Stead of on his chin.
Any more?