I have come to the conclusion that it isn't my intelligence which is at fault, but the nature of the subject. You are claiming that normal physiological processes (mutation etc) are able to change microbes into men. It's utter crap and enough to give any sensible person a brain haemorrhage.
"It's utter crap", such an eloquent and logical argument!
A great deal of science is highly counterintuitive but I imagine that you don't have the same reaction to General Relativity (time and space can distort) or Quantum Mechanics (particles can be in more than one place at a time) because those don't so directly conflict with your favourite superstition.
Of course if you're of the young universe persuasion, then you have to disagree with lots of science that has nothing to do with evolution.
You never did answer the question as to why you think you know more than pretty much all of the experts in the relevant fields. I do urge you to read
The truth about evolution - he disbelieves in evolution too but at least he has the honesty and integrity to admit that it is purely a matter of faith.
The truth is that you don't know better than the experts (you don't seem to know much about the subject at all), the evidence is beyond any reasonable doubt and you are choosing to disbelieve entirely due to your faith. That's your choice but you should have the honesty to admit it.