Hi, guys!

[Rhiannon]

Norfolk man living in Bristol here. 'My lover' is still going strong. Sounds a little bit too intimate when you first hear it. I'd prefer Bruce Forsyth's "All right, my love".

Re: 'Mate' - my father used to call me that. I hated it; it seemed to indicate his refusal to allow any real intimacy between us.

That's sad, Dicky. It'd be nice to think that 'mate' would foster affection. Just asked my son what he feels about it and he shrugged and said, 'it's been alright for the past twelve years, it's just what you call me'.

I now live on the edge of the Fens and there 'matey' refers to any man, even a stranger you spot at the end of the street  - "I see matey has a big dog'. In that context I would use ' that bloke'.  And 'old boy' refers to an older man where I come from, but to a Fenland native any adult male is an 'old boy'.

[Dicky Underpants]

That's sad, Dicky. It'd be nice to think that 'mate' would foster affection. Just asked my son what he feels about it and he shrugged and said, 'it's been alright for the past twelve years, it's just what you call me'.

I now live on the edge of the Fens and there 'matey' refers to any man, even a stranger you spot at the end of the street  - "I see matey has a big dog'. In that context I would use ' that bloke'.  And 'old boy' refers to an older man where I come from, but to a Fenland native any adult male is an 'old boy'.

So you, like wiggi, have opted for the great flat lands! (he lives a mile or two from my home village - or used to). I couldn't get away from them fast enough.
You know, there's some controversy over that Norfolk use of "boy". Some experts say that the traditional term was " 'bor" - short for "neighbour". However, the Singing Postman, Alan Smethurst, definitely popularised the use of 'boy' (as in "Heh yer gotta loit, boy?")
A friend of mine gave me a recording of a radio programme on his life story recently - very sad.

[Roses]

My husband and I believe in equality of the sexes. He has never treated our daughters or myself any different to the way he would treat the male of the species. 

[Rhiannon]

So you, like wiggi, have opted for the great flat lands! (he lives a mile or two from my home village - or used to). I couldn't get away from them fast enough.
You know, there's some controversy over that Norfolk use of "boy". Some experts say that the traditional term was " 'bor" - short for "neighbour". However, the Singing Postman, Alan Smethurst, definitely popularised the use of 'boy' (as in "Heh yer gotta loit, boy?")
A friend of mine gave me a recording of a radio programme on his life story recently - very sad.

Other Fens - Cambridgeshire.  And thankfully I'm on the edge so I live where it isn't flat. Still got the big skies though.

Do love Norfolk though, especially the coast.

[Nearly Sane]

Growing up in the West of Scotland, my father used to talk to random men he met as Jimmy, except when he was annoyed with them when he would refer to them as James.

[Rhiannon]

Something I have always done, is tell the kids to 'mind that lady', (as in, don't get in her way). Never 'mind that woman'. But then I also use 'gentleman' in that context too.

[Samuel]

'Girls' is a term that diminishes and denies.

Thanks Rhiannon, that is nce and clear. I can absolutely see how the term can intentionally be used to undermine women. Thanks for the response to what was probably a question with an obvious answer. I prefer to ask rather than jumpt to conclusions, even when they do seem self-evident. And anyway, I'm not a women and am wary of assuming I'm right about how ther people experience the patriarchy.

cheers

[Samuel]

seems to me as if you don't talk to women.

that's true, I avoid it whenever possible. I mean they're so weird right? and silly, and they smell funny and don't think properly, like men do. No, I don't like talking to women.

[ippy]

I love to hear the differences in the way the various regions use language when addressing others whatever terms are used mostly it's easy to distinguish by tone of voice whether someone is attempting a put down or not,

Using the term girls to a bunch of women could just be a bit of friendly banter.

Regards ippy

[Maeght]

Hate 'Hi guys' and being called 'mate' by people I don't know. Is there any need for such terms anyway? They are often just an extra word added on the end of a sentence which serves no purpose.

[Robbie]

I've never been called "Mate" but nothing wrong in anyone saying, "I'm seeing/going out with my mates", if they want to. My husband used to call our pets, "Mate", when they jumped all over him & "Come on mate, lets go out for a walk".

I've heard "You guys" and "These guys" for as long as can remember and see no problem with it. As for Rhod Gilbert saying 'posh' people use the word about their kids - I reckon he made that up. Annoys me when people talk about others as 'posh' especially when they're not - who is 'posh' anyway? I wonder about the woman in the Guardian link, has she nothing else to think about.

I did speak to someone once quite strongly at work about referring to a group of young women as girls in a patronising way, with stupid grin on his face. "How are you today girls?", "Have a nice evening girls". They didn't like it. However I have two daughters who are young women (and are my girls), they go for a night out 'with the girls' and have 'girlfriends'. As did I and still do occasionally.

How words are used and who uses them is key here. Once had a neighbour from Manchester who called me and prob'ly everyone else, "Love" which I found irritating but he was such a nice person, I stopped being irritated. Likewise a young woman who works in a post office which I go to sometimes always says, "My dear", which sounds quaint from someone of her age but she is lovely.


Darling is fine when reserved for loved ones.

[Maeght]

I've never been called "Mate" but nothing wrong in anyone saying, "I'm seeing/going out with my mates", if they want to.

That's different though. Mates means friends. But people often say it when they don't know you from Adam. You let someone go through a door in front of you 'Thanks mate', someone says 'excuse me mate, do you know what time it is?'. Aaaargh!

[Robbie]

They mean no harm just as my old neighbour calling people, "Love" and the lady in the post office saying, "Dear" meant no harm.  Alright mate?

Glad no-one has mentioned, "Me duck" (pronounced 'dook'), which I believe is common in Nottingham and Derby.

I've heard girls referred to as 'little maids' in Devon.

'Old boy' or 'Old chap' is something I often hear men say when addressing a boy child, I quite like that.

[Maeght]

They mean no harm just as my old neighbour calling people, "Love" and the lady in the post office saying, "Dear" meant no harm.  Alright mate?

Glad no-one has mentioned, "Me duck" (pronounced 'dook'), which I believe is common in Nottingham and Derby.

I've heard girls referred to as 'little maids' in Devon.

'Old boy' or 'Old chap' is something I often hear men say when addressing a boy child, I quite like that.

Of course they mean no harm, but its still annoying!

[Aruntraveller]

Glad no-one has mentioned, "Me duck" (pronounced 'dook'), which I believe is common in Nottingham and Derby.

It certainly is from this part of the midlands, in fact I used it today. And most days.

Sorry Robbie 

[Aruntraveller]

I think Rhi mentioned the dropping of the 'g' at the end of words.

Another pet hate - if you want to hear it to its fullest extent there is a political reporter on Sky news called Beth Rigby - once you here her drop her g's you cannot concentrate on her report. It is so fucking annoying.

[Maeght]

I associate "HI Guys and Gals" with Jimmy Savile.

Strange considering he didn't say that.

[Robbie]

Savile referred to everyone as "Guys and gals".

Anyway you guys I am going to bed. Nighty nighty.

[Maeght]

Savile referred to everyone as "Guys and gals".

Anyway you guys I am going to bed. Nighty nighty.

Yes, but his well known phrase was 'Ow's about that then Guys and Gals' rather than 'Hi Guys and Gals'.

Nighty night.

[Shaker]

They mean no harm just as my old neighbour calling people, "Love" and the lady in the post office saying, "Dear" meant no harm.  Alright mate?

Glad no-one has mentioned, "Me duck" (pronounced 'dook'), which I believe is common in Nottingham and Derby.

*cough*Leicester*cough*

Which, incidentally, has nothing to do with waterfowl but (apparently) comes from an old English form of address, my duke.

Needless to say there's a Beeb article on it, containing a frankly surreal video clip of Dolly Parton having a go at it: https://tinyurl.com/yd8oq2dt

For the full experience however you have to bow down before the genius that was the late and the ridiculously great Kevin Coyne (Derby lad, but never mind): https://youtu.be/F1BOBK8iBQU

[Rhiannon]

That's different though. Mates means friends. But people often say it when they don't know you from Adam. You let someone go through a door in front of you 'Thanks mate', someone says 'excuse me mate, do you know what time it is?'. Aaaargh!

Where I come from it’s a friendly greeting. It’s just a colloquial term and it’d be weird not to hear it.

Coming back to darlin’, that’s another one that’s just a friendly term, between both genders - I get called ‘darlin’ by women as well as men.

One very powerful way in which these terms work is to make you feel at home. I was talking to someone called Ian from another part of the country the other day and he said that when he works where I grew up all the blokes there call him ‘ee’. That made me laugh because it’s true, every name will be shortened to a single syllable. I’d not even thought about it before and I guess it happens in other places but it was a great observation.

[Rhiannon]

I think Rhi mentioned the dropping of the 'g' at the end of words.

Another pet hate - if you want to hear it to its fullest extent there is a political reporter on Sky news called Beth Rigby - once you here her drop her g's you cannot concentrate on her report. It is so fucking annoying.

Trent, this is starting to sound like a bias against Estuary English.

[Aruntraveller]

Trent, this is starting to sound like a bias against Estuary English.

If that is what it sounds like, you are most likely correct 

[Roses]

The best English is clear received English, imo.

[Shaker]

The best English is clear received English, imo.

Dialectist