Pet bereavement

[Rhiannon]

A very moving piece in the Graun.

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/aug/16/my-dog-was-looking-into-my-eyes-as-she-died-the-grief-of-losing-a-pet-is-real

This from the comments section is so true, and something that everyone who is blessed by having an animal that wants to share their lives with us should bear in mind:

You have your family, your friends, your job, your hobbies, your interests, your sports, your holidays, your events, your concerts.

All I have is you.

[Shaker]

The comments are awful. I only read a few; that was enough 

[Harrowby Hall]

My symbolism of grief is with me always – I mixed my dog’s ashes in with tattoo ink and had her attached permanently to my forearm. When I see the tattoo, I see her.

Is this for real? Would she do the same if her child had died?

[Shaker]

Is this for real?

In her case I don't know (though I've no reason to doubt her word), but it's definitely a 'thing', if that's what you mean.

Would she do the same if her child had died?

That would be up to her, I guess. There's no law against it AFAIK, and some people find it therapeutic after a bereavement, which is of course the whole point of the exercise:  https://tinyurl.com/y9jk46ls

[Rhiannon]

My symbolism of grief is with me always – I mixed my dog’s ashes in with tattoo ink and had her attached permanently to my forearm. When I see the tattoo, I see her.

Is this for real? Would she do the same if her child had died?

Who knows? She is talking about a pet, not a child.

[Shaker]

Who knows? She is talking about a pet, not a child.

It happens, though: https://tinyurl.com/y7yk9cyp

[Rhiannon]

I'm sure it does, but I don't know why anyone would be outraged by it.

[Gordon]

Animals can get to you though - even if you're not an 'animal' person like me, as I found out.

Mrs G had always wanted to adopt a rescue ex-racing greyhound so in late 1999 we contacted a local greyhound rescue organisation who came to see us, explained the issues with greyhounds (keep them muzzled when outside until they forget racing, since every cat, Westie or Jack Russell could be chased) and they eventually suggested we adopt a 1 year old dog who's been in training but had developed a reluctance to be put in the 'traps'.

He was large for a greyhound - he could put his front paws on your shoulders and look down at you - but he was quiet and gentle and no problem with cats our wee dogs whatsoever, or kids since our grandchildren started arriving in 2003. For years he happily went into kennels whenever we were away and came out much as he went in then in 2013 he went into the kennels over the Easter break and for the first time they reported that he hadn't eaten well and hadn't settled.

So before the summer holiday I took him to his regular vet beforehand to ask advice before his going into kennels after he hadn't done so well a couple of months back. The vet looked at him and said that there was no point in putting him through it again: he was already old for a greyhound, was clearly in decline and had some sort of growth in his abdomen. The vet said there and then that his time was up and that there was no alternative - so I went home alone, and it was awful for all of us.

No more pets!

[Shaker]

I'm sure it does, but I don't know why anyone would be outraged by it.

Me either.

[Robbie]

I have felt extremely bereaved when a pet has died.  One of mine was 'put down' & I was devastated, can still remember what I felt.  It never occurred to me to have a tattoo in their honour, i'm not a tattoo type person.

If someone has a pet's name tattooed they might regret it in later life but that's their business, can always have it removed I suppose.

A young woman of my acquaintance had a child who died aged 4.  She had her name tattooed on the inner part of her upper arm, in white.  That reduced me to tears.  The memory of it still does even though the woman moved on eventually, married & had another child (but her husband died!  No more tattoos thank goodness).

Grieves me to think what so many people go through in life.

[Harrowby Hall]

If someone has a pet's name tattooed they might regret it in later life but that's their business, can always have it removed I suppose.

You may have missed the point, Robbie. It's not having tattoo to remind her of her pet which I thought was bizarre, but mixing the pet's ashes into the tattoo ink. Who knows what health hazards that might have involved.

[Rhiannon]

You may have missed the point, Robbie. It's not having tattoo to remind her of her pet which I thought was bizarre, but mixing the pet's ashes into the tattoo ink. Who knows what health hazards that might have involved.

Ashes aren't hugely toxic. There's far worse stuff in tattoo ink, believe me.

[Rhiannon]

Animals can get to you though - even if you're not an 'animal' person like me, as I found out.

Mrs G had always wanted to adopt a rescue ex-racing greyhound so in late 1999 we contacted a local greyhound rescue organisation who came to see us, explained the issues with greyhounds (keep them muzzled when outside until they forget racing, since every cat, Westie or Jack Russell could be chased) and they eventually suggested we adopt a 1 year old dog who's been in training but had developed a reluctance to be put in the 'traps'.

He was large for a greyhound - he could put his front paws on your shoulders and look down at you - but he was quiet and gentle and no problem with cats our wee dogs whatsoever, or kids since our grandchildren started arriving in 2003. For years he happily went into kennels whenever we were away and came out much as he went in then in 2013 he went into the kennels over the Easter break and for the first time they reported that he hadn't eaten well and hadn't settled.

So before the summer holiday I took him to his regular vet beforehand to ask advice before his going into kennels after he hadn't done so well a couple of months back. The vet looked at him and said that there was no point in putting him through it again: he was already old for a greyhound, was clearly in decline and had some sort of growth in his abdomen. The vet said there and then that his time was up and that there was no alternative - so I went home alone, and it was awful for all of us.

No more pets!

I'm sorry. 

[Robbie]

You may have missed the point, Robbie. It's not having tattoo to remind her of her pet which I thought was bizarre, but mixing the pet's ashes into the tattoo ink. Who knows what health hazards that might have involved.

No I didn't miss that HH. I thought it was macabre and skirted around it but each to their own I suppose. The ashes would be sterile surely.

I've heard of making a diamond-type stone for a ring out of ashes, human not pet.

Takes all sorts.

[Rhiannon]

No I didn't miss that HH. I thought it was macabre and skirted around it but each to their own I suppose. The ashes would be sterile surely.

I've heard of making a diamond-type stone for a ring out of ashes, human not pet.

Takes all sorts.

I know someone who had jewellery made from her husband's ashes. It mattered so much to her. She even went to see the making process.

[Shaker]

You may have missed the point, Robbie. It's not having tattoo to remind her of her pet which I thought was bizarre, but mixing the pet's ashes into the tattoo ink. Who knows what health hazards that might have involved.

Why would there be any? Given the temperatures involved needed to turn a body to ash, I mean.

[Robbie]

I know someone who had jewellery made from her husband's ashes. It mattered so much to her. She even went to see the making process.

So much for letting go and moving on.
There's nowt as queer as folk.
Please let no-one make jewellery out of me!

[Roses]

I know someone who had jewellery made from her husband's ashes. It mattered so much to her. She even went to see the making process.

Wow what a great idea, I will suggest that to my husband, I think he would like the idea. Mind you, if my ashes were made into jewellery, they would be so exceptional only a trillionaire would be able to afford to buy them.

[Rhiannon]

So much for letting go and moving on.
There's nowt as queer as folk.
Please let no-one make jewellery out of me!

They'd been married over 40 years. How on earth do you let go and move on from that?

[Rhiannon]

Wow what a great idea, I will suggest that to my husband, I think he would like the idea. Mind you, if my ashes were made into jewellery, they would be so exceptional only a trillionaire would be able to afford to buy them.

Here you go, LR.

https://ashesintoglass.co.uk

[Roses]

Here you go, LR.

https://ashesintoglass.co.uk

Thanks.

[Rhiannon]

Thanks.

I think that the paperweight is actually a very nice alternative to the traditional urn, for people who keep ashes in the home.

I've only ever been to the internment of ashes once. It was awful. Only me and my dad were there; my dad hadn't realised that because he hadn't specified a container the ashes came out in a kind of metal tea caddy and were poured straight into a hole in the ground, and as it was windy quite a lot didn't make it. Quick prayer, job done. It was appalling.

[Roses]

I think that the paperweight is actually a very nice alternative to the traditional urn, for people who keep ashes in the home.

I've only ever been to the internment of ashes once. It was awful. Only me and my dad were there; my dad hadn't realised that because he hadn't specified a container the ashes came out in a kind of metal tea caddy and were poured straight into a hole in the ground, and as it was windy quite a lot didn't make it. Quick prayer, job done. It was appalling.

I would never wish to keep an urn of ashes, they are best scattered to the four winds. I am not sentimental about dead bodies, I would sooner remember how they were in life. 

[Rhiannon]

I would never wish to keep an urn of ashes, they are best scattered to the four winds. I am not sentimental about dead bodies, I would sooner remember how they were in life.

I'm the same; I've never visited a graveside.

[Roses]

Apparently you can  have your ashes put in a sky rocket, an idea I rather like.