Looks like the trans phobes have won.
If women had the confidence that statistically they faced the same risk of harm from biological women as from biological men that would probably help your argument. If after 10 years, the Ireland experiment is working out fine for biological women, then you might have more of the evidence you need to support your argument that there is not a higher statistical risk of harm by allowing anyone to access single sex spaces or by allowing anyone to access single sex services by a process of self-declaration.
https://www.scottishlegal.com/article/gender-recognition-reform-taking-place-under-the-radar-across-europeAlso, if you could demonstrate that biological men were able to discuss rather than talk over women, call people names or threaten violence, we would also not need single sex spaces for women to protect them from biological men.
All the trans extremists threatening women who disagree with them and telling them to suck their trans dick really does not inspire confidence in letting biological men enter women's single sex spaces. How would we tell the difference between the tolerant, vulnerable, non-violent trans woman who gives us permission to have a voice while sharing our space versus the aggressive misogynists trans women who tell us to "shut the fuck up"?
I assume your trans friends will no be arguing that women are as aggressive as men, as that detracts from your argument that trans women need protecting from biological men? What is about some men and their obsession with their dicks?