Alain de Botton on Infatuation

[Nearly Sane]

'The only people who can still strike us as normal are those we don’t yet know very well. The best cure for love is to get to know them better.'


I doubt I could ever love someone who struck me as normal.


https://www.brainpickings.org/2017/06/02/alain-de-botton-the-course-of-love-infatuation/

[wigginhall]

The points about disappointment are interesting,  and continual disappointment seems to plague some people.   However, I think it can be overcome, but then she seems to arrive at that point.   I wonder if disappointment is part of being young, as it compels us towards new things, however probably best to reduce it in middle age, and accept that it's about myself, not others.    I found everything disappointing in my 30s, but somehow I got out of that.

[Rhiannon]

'The only people who can still strike us as normal are those we don’t yet know very well. The best cure for love is to get to know them better.'


I doubt I could ever love someone who struck me as normal.


https://www.brainpickings.org/2017/06/02/alain-de-botton-the-course-of-love-infatuation/

God wouldn't that be boring.

A useful tip is to both behave like arses and having a blazing row within a couple of weeks of meeting. Works for me.

[Nearly Sane]

The points about disappointment are interesting,  and continual disappointment seems to plague some people.   However, I think it can be overcome, but then she seems to arrive at that point.   I wonder if disappointment is part of being young, as it compels us towards new things, however probably best to reduce it in middle age, and accept that it's about myself, not others.    I found everything disappointing in my 30s, but somehow I got out of that.

It's weird. I don' ever remember being disappointed in that sense. Things get darker and richer. I remember reading Swift's The Lady's Dressing Room and wondering what he could be satirising. It's people's humanity I think I fall in love with not some mythical non shitting perfection.

[Nearly Sane]

God wouldn't that be boring.

A useful tip is to both behave like arses and having a blazing row within a couple of weeks of meeting. Works for me.

The first part is one of my natural gifts

[Rhiannon]

It's weird. I don' ever remember being disappointed in that sense. Things get darker and richer. I remember reading Swift's The Lady's Dressing Room and wondering what he could be satirising. It's people's humanity I think I fall in love with not some mythical non shitting perfection.

I agree so much with this. And discovering flaws can actually be rather wonderful, and then thinking, do you know what, I really don’t mind...

[wigginhall]

It's weird. I don' ever remember being disappointed in that sense. Things get darker and richer. I remember reading Swift's The Lady's Dressing Room and wondering what he could be satirising. It's people's humanity I think I fall in love with not some mythical non shitting perfection.

I was well into perfection until about 35.   Then, something clicked, I don't have to project my self-loathing onto others, I can have it all for myself!.

[Dicky Underpants]

It's weird. I don' ever remember being disappointed in that sense. Things get darker and richer. I remember reading Swift's The Lady's Dressing Room and wondering what he could be satirising. It's people's humanity I think I fall in love with not some mythical non shitting perfection.

Was Swift actually satirising, or simply trying to exorcise his own pathological attitude to physical realities which clashed violently with his sexual idealism?

[SteveH]

Infatuation? Is that fancying porky birds?

[Walt Zingmatilder]

Is the phenomenon of liking the smell of one's own foetid odours....Infartuation?