This morning my husband and I are under siege . HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A week to two back our eldest girl, the vicar, paid us a visit and checked out what her old man had been doing in the back garden. She made a rude comment about a resting garden gnome I had bought to wind him up, neither of us like the things. Anyway later in the day I noticed the gnome was missing so I asked my husband what he had done with it. He swore blind he hadn't removed it, I knew our girl couldn't have done it as I had been with her in the garden all the time. I was concerned as his memory isn't great these days. I phoned her up and voiced my concerns, saying I knew she couldn't have done it as I had been with her. "Now Mum would I do a thing like that I was behind you when we went indoors?" I realised then she had done it the second my back was turned.
I found the gnome hiding in a bush! I sent her an e-mail saying the gnome was threatening to sue her because she had disturbed its rest. Then the e-mails between our girl and my baby sister, also an Anglican Priest, began, me being sent a copy of each of course. They were expressing concern about the senile old bat, and our girl saying that it wouldn't be long before the men in white coats would be on my doorstep. Baby Sister replied that they should have taken me away already as I had actually bought a garden gnome, and so it went on.
Well naturally I had to get my own back on our girl, so whilst she was doing her morning service I delivered a gnome I had bought for her, and placed it in her study with a certificate. It stated HM had presented it with the OVG, order of the vicarage gnome, a great honour. It had to be treated with the respect it deserved and she must curtsey whenever she was in its presence. I awaited her reaction, but nothing was said, so I knew she was working out how to retaliate. Anyway when I looked out of the front window this morning I discovered the gnome I had given her with a line of small gnomes behind it all the way down the drive!!!! There was note with them saying the Vicarage Gnome was bored and wished to come 'gnome' bringing its friends with him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Our girl must have placed them there early this morning, as I am alwayd up by 6.30am. When she phoned to check on us, I didn't mention the gnomes. I am working out what to do next!
