I've been giving this part of the thread some thought.
I'm not unduly upset by Steve's post stating that "gay relationships should not be regarded as absolutely on a par with heterosexual ones", I am perplexed by it, however. Perplexed because like some posters have pointed out he has never struck me as anything approaching homophobic. Some of you will remember that we've had experience here and on the BBC of some real practitioners of the art.
Anyhow, I got to thinking about my own homophobia (internalised, or some such). By which I mean there are things in my life I absolutely don't do because of the way I perceive that my own homosexuality limits me.
So for instance, I never, ever, use public toilets due to an overwhelming fear that people might think I am using the toilet for a purpose other than that which it is designed for. I do not interact with children outside of my family and friends because of the old, stupid idea that gay people are paedophiles. So if a child is in trouble or misbehaving I do not get involved for fear of misunderstanding (that fear I appreciate may in some ways extend to heterosexual men). Those are just two areas where my internalised homophobia directs my actions in ways which aren’t helpful to me, or indeed, to wider society.
So, my point is, that I do think Jemediah’s (Steve’s) posting on this has been homophobic and only a little upsetting to me by him saying my relationship isn’t on a par with heterosexual ones; here comes the but, but if I have taken in and am still affected by internalised homophobia, I can’t be too hard on somebody who has never been homophobic on here in the past who shows that he also hasn’t quite shaken off his conditioning either societal or religious and posted something a little bit stupid.
We all arrive at realisations about how we think about issues, be that LGBT issues or race, or womens rights, etc. at different times and I hope Steve will eventually come to realise that actually there is no difference between my relationship and say NS’s relationship. At the same time recognising that there is a world of difference between any two relationships.