If you take paracetamol for your toe pain, that is a pharmacological intervention working on your brain, not on your toe. The sensation of pain is created by mind, but it doesn't manifest as pain in your brain like headache, it manifests as a pain in your toe. Hence the mind is projecting the pain back to the location of the toe. You don't even need to have toe to feel pain in it - amputees often report pain in the amputated limb, a phenomenon so common we have a medical name for it - phantom limb syndrome.
Which brings us back to the self, if pain is projected to a virtual toe that implies the virtual toe is a part of a virtual whole, or self. It's all part of the mind's mapping of its virtual body to its flesh body. So the question, is the self real, boils down to the same as, is the amputees painful missing foot real. It is real enough in the mind of the patient, but it is not there in any conventional sense of the word 'real'. We could almost say, his phantom pain is an illusion.
You seem to be equating real pain with phantom pain here so you can then say therefore the self is like phantom pain.
There are problems with this
Firstly the equation of pain with self.
Even if real pain is an illusion we know what it is that is having the illusion.
You have been unable to do that for the self.
Secondly there is your equation of phantom pain and real pain.
That is I would move an obvious conflation
Having erroneously classified all pain as phantom pain you then equate self with phantom pain.
I had hoped I was wrong about what you had done but the alternative would possibly be you not having equated real pain with phantom pain and just, as an act of preference and with no warrant chosen phantom pain as analogy to self.