You take a very legalistic approach and thus imv. make yourself prone to look for loopholes.
It's a discussion about, effectively, allegations of crime and punishment, so some parallels with the legal system are perhaps inevitable - that said, I've not been citing technical interpretations or particular phrasings, I've been talking to the substantive heart of the matter, the 'spirit' of the law if you will. Whether or not 'sin' - this alleged spiritual marker of guilt - is something that can be inherited or not, whether we can justify the punishment of people with what we would these days describe as a mental deficiency these are not nitpicky details, these are fundamental questions about system of justice.
This story though is looked at relationally. God, like any good parent takes the penalty of the breakdown of the relationship(alienation) on himself through Christ (god) in an effort to reopen the relationship.
There is no 'relationship' - there is a dictator handing down rules - in some instances rules that appear totally arbitrary - from on high and demanding unquestioning obedience.
However it still requires us to accept the offer of the restored relationship.
Do as you are told or suffer eternal punishment isn't an 'offer' - except, perhaps, in the mafioso-styling of an offer you can't refuse - it's a threat. This isn't something on a line from 'no relationship' to 'relationship' this somewhere between coercion and blackmail.
If we want alienation then we have repeated Adam's actions as it were.
Why is all the onus on us? You make the comparison of a parent and child, which I appreciate is slightly limited but it's perhaps the best we've got: I don't expect my children to have to change to accommodate me, I change to accommodate them, because it's not their fault they're here it's mine.
I also though think Spud's take is fair enough. There is nothing monstrous about God given that he has opened the way of restoration.
He closed it; him offering to open it up if we do as we're told is not being nice, it's being controlling.
It sounds like you prefer a system whereby there are no actual consequences either for Christ or yourself.
I prefer a system where punishments are doled out to the people at fault for things that have actually caused harm or problems, not people who got their feelings hurt because they didn't child-proof their house and their kids disobeyed them. If someone's kids are unruly, we rightly look at least in part at the parents...
O.