I don't buy that they're just a bunch of poor sods who are being used by Putin. Of course there are Russians against the war and Putin but generally Russians are behind the war and adhere to the mindset behind it. It belongs to the Russian psyche. As a nation they have to accept a measure of collective guilt because they have enabled this.
Some of the soldiers are reported to be conscripts - so they have no choice whatsoever.
And for those who aren't conscripts, you can certainly argue that they shouldn't have joined the russian military, but having done so they have no control over what they are asked to do.
So while I completely accept that the russian authorities, and Putin in particular, have their blood-stained fingerprints all over this, I'm not convinced you can blame all russians in the manner you do. Let's not forget that people in many countries have a knee-jerk allegiance to their country (for right or wrong) - and that will be amplified if they are exposed to propaganda that suggests they are right and the other side is wrong (as is the case in russia).
Sure we can argue that they shouldn't have this mind-set, but many across the world do have knee-jerk allegiance to their country, and we can pretend that they won't be impacted by what their media says, but few people aren't. But can you honestly say that if you, by quirk of fate, had been born in russia and of russian heritage that you wouldn't consider that you had allegiance to russia. You come across as quite nationalistic and that is the mind-set that nationalists tend to have.