Roddy Doyle on ONJ
-See Olivia Newton John died.
-Seen tha’.
-Jaws.
-Grease.
-That’s right, yeah – sorry. There’s no shark in Grease.
-How could yeh mix up Jaws an’ Grease?
-Well, I never actually seen Grease.
-Yeh must’ve.
-No.
-Even the Pope saw fuckin’ Grease.
-No.
-How come?
-One of me sisters went to it an’ I wasn’t workin’ at the time an’ she started callin’ me the beauty school dropout, the fuckin’ wagon. An’ I just said to meself, ‘Grease can fuck off.’
-An’ yeh haven’t seen it since?
-Well, it’s like The Sound o’ Music, isn’t it? The women love it an’ the men lose the will to live.
-There’s no way Grease is the same as The Sound o’ Music.
-Convince me – go on.
-Well, Olivia Newton John is in it for a start. Can you imagine Julie Andrews dirty dancin’ with John Travolta?
-Okay – .
-Or Olivia singin’ My Favourite Things? ‘When the dog bites, when the bee stings’ – Jesus, man, use your fuckin’ imagination. It would’ve been incredible.
-You’re actually sayin’ she should’ve been in The Sound o’ Music.
-I’m sayin’ she should’ve been in every musical every made.
-You really liked her, didn’t yeh?
-She was fuckin’ massive.
