It is (obviously?) different - even though you know the word that is being referred to, the reason people object to it is because of the emotional impact it imparts. The difference between, say, shouting "you nigger" and "you n-word" at someone.
Yes, but why? The intent is the same in both those cases, and we all know in the second, what word is being thought of. If it's so toxic to even mention the N-word in a discussion about its use, then replacing it with "N-word" should not make any difference.
Unless it's all performative nonsense.