Forum Best Bits

[Samuel]

Welcome to the ‘best bits’ of the Religion and Ethics Forum

During discussions within this rag-tag community passions can run high. Occasionally certain posters will be witnessed reaching the soaring heights of eloquent expression or plumbing the depths of idiotic rambling. Sometimes new and fresh ideas will be put forward, and some people even manage to be funny. This thread is all about celebrating those moments on these boards that make you love coming here.

It might be a joke, a flippant but excellently worded insult, a particularly witty comment, an astute observation or simply the fluent way an idea is articulated. This new thread will act as a repository where you can copy and paste your  chosen quotes to preserve them as examples of the best content produced by this forum’s members.

The Mods have asked that.

1. Nothing is included that could be read (as posted in this thread) as being insulting about other members here and what is posted should 'work' in a stand-alone format when taken out of its original context.

2. What is posted here must have originated in this Forum, and quotes should be accredited.

3. This thread will be moderated as normal, and members being quoted should contact the Mod Team by PM if they have any concerns.

4. This thread is for notable quotes and not for protracted discussions of these quotes, and any posts made in response to quotes here should be in line with the lighthearted ethos of this thread. If required the original context of these quotes can be read elsewhere, in their source threads, and can more fully discussed there.

5. The point of this thread is to preserve and enjoy stuff that is witty, intelligent or just plain fun (which is why this thread is a sticky, which prevents it from being culled).

This whole idea was inspired by Gonnagle’s footer quotes so I will use those as examples below of how things should proceed and the kind of thing which is acceptable.
 
I hope that you will all contribute in the spirit of goodwill and in celebration of our little community.

[Samuel]

NearlySane

“And I see too many people on here stating 'Oh look at me, I am really rational' with the spoon poised ready to allow them to eat themselves”

[Samuel]

Leonard James

"A soft answer turns away wrath, but grievous words stir up anger."

[Samuel]

Wigginhall

“Go and fuck yourself, with something rusty and antiquated”

[horsethorn]

Especially for those who requested it, my poem about reading through the old BBC R&E threads...

I might just have a tiptoe through the garden of reminiscence when I get an evening free...
And wallow in religious chat on the good old BBC.
I’ll skip through threads on evolution, ethics and the recent Noahic Flood,
And see what fossils I can dredge up from the mud.
It’s a materially philosophic Eden with lawns of confirmation bias
And hosts of gardeners who only prune to try us.
In secluded nooks you may find a gem amongst the shrubs and trees
Or twisty-turny gymnasts who hide in righteous expertise.
Some antics with romantics who see the world so rosy
Makes me yearn to pick a morally necessary posy
Or visit caves of ignorance to mine a quote or two,
To practice circularity and evade the thinkers that pursue.
But once I’m there my metaphysical meandering well meant
Ends with yet another day in nostalgic pilgrimage full spent.

Sadly, I can't remember what Gonnagle's winning title for it was

ht

[horsethorn]

As Dylan Thomas is probably my favourite poet, Gonners, I'd be honoured to be mentioned in the same post as him

I was sure you'd come up with a title...

ht

[Samuel]

Bluehillside

"Can the female pudenda be pretentious?"

[Gordon]

On a thread about the problems of the 'Ark Park' in Kentucky, which involved the building of a life-size version of Noah's Ark we got this gem from Lapsed Atheist - it deserves to be preserved,

'It would have made a better story if the project had had to be cancelled due to flooding  '

[floo]

"Some people  would  rather  sit in the  dark  than light a candle." Prof Wallofski

I think this quote is a good one.

[Gonnagle]

Dear Floo,

That's the Prof for you, always thinking about Scripture.

Matthew 5:15

nor does anyone light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on the lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house.

Gonnagle.

Replies to this post can be directed to Whitehall 1212.

[SweetPea]

From Squeaky Voice, on the Ouija board:

These days you're far more likely to get the message,

"T-h-a-n-k  y-o-u  f-o-r  c-o-n-t-a-c-t-i-ng  t-h-e  d-e-a-d.

U-n-f-o-r-t-u-n-a-t-e-l-y  a-l-l  o-f  t-h-e  d-e-a-d  a-r-e  b-u-s-y  a-t  t-h-e  m-o-m-e-n-t.

P-l-e-a-s-e  h-o-l-d  w-h-i-l-e  w-e  w-a-i-t  f-o-r  a-n  o-p-e-r-a-t-i-v-e  t-o  b-e-c-o-m-e  a-v-a-i-l-a-b-l-e.

Y-o-u-r  c-o-n-t-a-c-t  i-s  i-m-p-o-r-t-a-n-t  t-o  u-s..."

[Samuel]

from Gonnalge

"Christianity does not bar you from being a complete and utter bastard."

[Gonnagle]

Dear Best Bits,

It seems that many atheists put god in a box.

You could wait forever and then.

The above quote is from our beloved Moderator Rhiannon.

Gonnagle.

[Gonnagle]

Dear Best bits,

My observations are these. The RBL is a Charity and the poppy appeal is part of its marketing for funds. It has been very successful and the effect of this is the almost complete poppy coverage that currently exists on TV, on football shirts and the like

The history of the RBL is of interest. It was (I read) formed rather quickly, when WW1 vets found the govt had no plans for injured soldiers and the possibility of revolution was quite high (there were millions of trained ex army around and jobs were rather thin on the ground)

I find the organised and "compulsory" remembrance somewhat overdone in its current form.  A view my late WW2 vet father shared. He (and many soldiers quoted in many forums) think that the remembrance "industry" has been high-jacked by politicians and the establishment - so that we do forget and allow more young men and women to be killed by the whim of politicians. My WW1 vet grandad's (gassed but survived on the western front) view of the RBL are not printable. Just to say he thought it (this was a while back...) full of those who were never near the sharp end and liked the image.

I have found the odd visit to cemeteries in France and Belgium more powerful than the choreographed "poppy season" I  don't need to be told when and how to pay my personal respects and feel that the current position is counter productive

I also think that the RBL is doing work that the Govt should have full responsibility for.

I also think that I would like to make those who bravely online call deserters cowards and the like face live firing and see if they feel so brave.

The best remembrance would be not to send off our young people to die for failed politics.

I did think of chopping this Post, but I think it would lose something.

Author Fastflint, World War 1 commemorations.

Gonnagle.

[Synonym]

i liked NearlySane's tongue-in-cheek title for the story about the bakers who refused to create a cake-message to support same-sex marriage.

First they came for the B&B's, then for the bakers...

[Gordon]

Another wee gem from Gonnagle.

'....to pick the mind of a Dolphin, when watching experiments done on Dolphins I wonder if the Dolphins are laughing at us, free fish for solving a simple puzzle, those two legged creatures are nuts.'

[Gordon]

and in response an equally good gem from BHS. I think we may have stumbled into an episode of Animal Magic with dear old Johnny Morris (quietly whistles theme tune  .


'I wonder if dogs have people for pets: "I wag my tail, they feed me; I bark, they take me for a walk; if I'm the right pedigree, I might even get taken for a bit of how's yer father with the sassy little Airedale at No 9" etc.

But then maybe fleas have dogs for pets: "I get free lifts everywhere, I farm them for blood when I'm peckish, the Missus and I have a lovely little home in all this fur..." etc. '

[Gordon]

From Rhiannon.

'If you keep on living your life as though your purpose is to be saved and go to Heaven, you are missing the heaven that you are living in right now.'

[Gordon]

From Len.

'Jokes are the yeast that lightens seriousness! '

[Gordon]

Another from Gonnagle.

'I am so glad I am in the same trouser of time as you guys'

Edit.

Gonners says he meant to say 'I am so glad I am in the same trouser leg of time as you guys'

Personally I prefer the first version.

[Gonnagle]

Dear Rhiannon,

I was about to go completely Librarian on you and then I thought, hmmm!! sharing trousers, what if there is a universe that we are closely connected too, one where there is a another Rhiannon that is very close to this Rhiannon, this science stuff can blow your mind.

Gonnagle.

[Aruntraveller]

We are noble in reason and infinite in faculty, and yet still a quintessence of dust.

Nearly Sane.

[Nearly Sane]

We are noble in reason and infinite in faculty, and yet still a quintessence of dust.

Nearly Sane.

To be fair it's a paraphrase of Shakespeare

[jakswan]

I am saying that pagans are those people who have turned the festival from a religious or even spiritual one into a secular one and chosen to replace the concentration on the birth of the saviour of the world with the earning of as much money as possible and extravagent hedonism.

With regard to Christmas, should be preserved.

[Aruntraveller]

Rhi being excellently suiccinct.

It's not even book worship any more, it is worshipping the parts of a book that let you act like a heartless prick. Idolatry of bigotry.